Thanks, Dr. Phil

Dr. Phil makes teenagers lives terrible. This man takes the worst teenagers in America and displays them on national television, points out their flaws, and in turn makes the parents watching at home believe that normal teens do the things advertized. This then makes the parents Nazis in their children's lives, therefore, making their lives terrible.

Parents need to grasp that not all of the things he states apply to every single teenager. For one, we're not all walking hormones with guns. We can act civil. But it's not the teenaged boys whose lives get strained. It's the females. Dr. Phil has a way of addressing problems that point more towards the safety and purity of teenaged girls. One episode, the mother of the "wild" girl referred to the boyfriend as a "gang-banging drug dealer." And when asked to take a drug test, he replied with "do you want me to take a gang-bang test too?" The boy obviously had no respect for anyone. And obviously, this is the prime example of every other boy in America. On top of the terrible teen, the name of that episode was "Hands Off My Teen Daughter."

I guess it's not Dr. Phil that I dislike. It's the misinterpreting parents that adore him. I can understand watching his show to learn a little and feel better about how your kids aren't as bad as those featured. But the parents that watch and take detailed notes on just exactly how their teens think and act based on those troubled kids, that's when the lines of reality TV and actual reality begin to blur.

Dear parents,

Not all teenagers use their cell phones to take nude pictures of themselves and show everyone. (We'll leave that to the politicians.) Most teenagers are not into whoring around and trying out vast arrays of drugs.

Not all boyfriends are going to beat your daughters up. If her boyfriend likes to spend time with her, it doesn't mean he's starting to isolate her from her family. You'll know if he starts to do that, because he'll actually be doing that. Not all boys are going to take advantage of her. Yes, boys are pigs and she'll have to be careful, but you have to hope that your parenting skills work out now that she's on her own. The more you smother her and try to control her, the more she's going to do the opposite.

When she's 17 (and... let's throw an extra 143 days on top of that), her asking if she can go places and do things that don't include entertaining you, it's really more of a courtesy. She's telling you what she's going to be doing in a nice way; she's not actually asking for permission.

Your kids are not as problematic as the ones that are featured.

-Sincerely,

Your [behaved] Teenagers.